we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
