Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
NoShamevember. You game?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
