went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
