You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
