i just google imaged poop.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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