I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
