She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
