Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
