ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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