Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
