2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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