question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
