He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
