im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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