Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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