i just google imaged poop.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
