sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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