69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
