You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It's just like the Real World with babies
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
