It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
So squirting runs in the family.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
