we have officially lost it.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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