she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
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