Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
