She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
