I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
