just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
