the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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