need another drink. this is the easiest way
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
