"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
