just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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