Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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