You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
