dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
