I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It's shark week go big or go home
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
