spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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