You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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