There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
