Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
