We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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