went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
