i would punch a child for taco bell
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
