so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
