shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
