Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
