Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
