You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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