Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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