and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize