if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
