Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
