jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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